What i want to know is why any sort of food or drink is so extortionately expensive on railway stations? Like a bottle of drink is £1.60. Ok, i thought, think of it like the pictures, except less exciting, and opt for the cheaper bottle of water. Oh no. £1.30. £1.30? I could tilt my head back and get water cheaper than that! And those evil dispenser machines at the actual station side, where crisps are on the rough side of 90p, fizzy drink is stacked on the top most shelf, and they never, never have anything i really want. I mean from a business point of view, wouldn’t it be better to have normal prices? Then more people would buy, logically. More mothers would give in to their spoiled brats. I would buy more chocolate and get fat and sweaty. Not that i really want that. Hmm. For example a decent sized snack, perhaps a packet of greasy fat flakes, a soggy sandwich and a bottle of vintage water would set me back a considerable amount, a considerable amount that five minutes walk could take me to a minimart and shopping bags full of goodies. But thats the key, you can’t trot off to the supermarket when your train is due in one minute, or is pouring with rain and you have an interview at the other end of the line, or your station is in the middle of nowhere and all the locals are watching you and wondering whether you’ll taste nice. Its a convenience food. Its there, its easier to get too, less hassle. Lets whack up the prices almost 100%. Excellant idea boss, i’ll do that right now! Ker-ching!
And the cafe! Oh dear god that evil place! The smell of rich coffee (well so your niave mind thinks) and bacon sandwiches! You know those mornings? Where everything is on your shoulders and the world hates you? And its raining? And no-one will get up and let you sit for at least a few stops? Even then, i think twice about buying some. Even though i know for a few moments i can stick two fingers up to the nightmare machine world we live in and lose myself in yum yum land, the extortionate figure they charge is like a hammer to the face. And for that price i would rather chew my hands off in despair than sell my soul to british rail. For the cheaper i can get an all day breakfast at my destination with generous portions, a large glass of orange juice and light conversation with a friendly chef, whos just as excited about getting up in the morning this early as i am.
Oh and I’ve worked out why the bacon sandwich and coffee is so expensive. Its worth it for the look of longing on the smug bastards in first class. Bwahaha.
